The Rabbit Hole mysteries of 2024 that I forgot to solve

I love getting to the bottom of things. Many times I do not! I hate that. So here's how I failed in several of my missions this year.

Me back in March, eating a cheese dog at Zack’s in Burlington. Did I find the origin story of this Alamance County delicacy? No I did not!

This will be the last Rabbit Hole of 2024. I had big plans for this year! I really did! There were a few stories that I said I was going to write and then… I ran out of time. That’s ludicrous, because I had exactly the same number of days as you, and yet I spent way too many of them staring off into space, watching squirrels dart around the back yard, things like that. I am a writer at my core. Which means: When I’m on deadline, I decide to clean the house. You should see how many dishes I can load into the dishwasher. You’d be amazed, I tell you.

Anyhow, this is the time of year when people decide to phone it in before the holidays and run best-of lists, year-in-review recaps, and other stories that basically function as out-of-office messages. In the past, I’ve slightly subverted this by running my list of the least-read Rabbit Holes of the year (In 2024, the least-viewed newsletter was this roundup of stuff that included Charlotte Hornets star LaMelo Ball riding a go-kart around on his roof). This year, though, as a tribute to my lack of ambition and follow through, I present to you a bunch of mysteries that I thought I might be able to solve and … didn’t. Maybe I will at some point! Maybe you can help! But knowing me, I’ll start staring slack-jaw at the ceiling and just forget. I’m sorry, what were we talking about again?

The Brown Mountain Lights

There are some long-standing mysteries that people ask me to solve, and I usually respond by saying “what’s that behind you?!” before running away. Hence, I keep responding this way when people ask me to look into the Brown Mountain Lights:

People have been reporting strange lights around Brown Mountain in the Linville Gorge area of North Carolina for a long time. There’s a Charlotte Observer article from 1913 that seems to be the first real reference to them. Since then, they’ve become a curious piece of North Carolina lore, one that’s perplexed people for decades. I regret to inform you that no, I was not able to solve this persistent mystery in my spare time.

Our best hope comes from astronomer Dr. Dan Caton and his students at Appalachian State University, who have tried to solve this mystery from a purely scientific standpoint. Spoiler alert: They haven’t! Their best theories are that it’s either ball lightning or an optical illusion where a temperature inversion in mountain valleys causes stars in the sky to appear like they’re below the horizon. That’s not very satisfying, I know. It’s more fun to believe that there’s something otherworldly or nefarious going on, much like it’s more exciting to think that a horde of car-sized drones are floating in the skies over New Jersey every night. If that’s the truth you want to believe, then yeah. Sure. It was aliens. I’m sorry for ever doubting you.

Yo dawg, I heard you like Waffle Houses

From Brandon Wheeler:

Any chance you have any interest in the story behind the Waffle House visible from the other Waffle House off of Skibo Road in Fayetteville?

For reference, here are the two Waffle Houses, less than 700 feet away from each other:

Cue the Xzibit “Pimp My Ride” memes.

I’ll declare up front: I emailed Waffle House directly to ask them about this, and they did not get back to me. So I don’t know for sure here. But this is a distinctly Southern version of a long-standing genre of corporate real estate mystery. The original version was the Starbucks across from a Starbucks. The more nefarious variation involves Mattress Firms next to Mattress Firms.

The double Waffle House thing isn’t unique to Fayetteville. There are other places in Georgia and Florida where two locations are right across the street from each other. Over the years, this has been the source of some mild online speculation: One theory by an alleged former employee is that one Waffle House will get so busy that another one has to open to handle the overflow crowd. Also, the restaurant buildings themselves have a very specific design. There are no giant or two-story Waffle Houses (possible exception: A “state-of-the-art” location in Biloxi, Mississippi that’s built on stilts to withstand hurricanes). Hence, if you want to accommodate wild waffle popularity, it seems like you’d just build another one because you really can’t expand the one you currently have. The two Fayetteville locations in question both have the same owner, a subsidiary of Waffle House corporate, so they’re not really in competition. That said, they’ve evolved differently and people have reported that they have very distinct atmospheres and levels of quality. Twins! There’s always a good one and an evil one.

Inside you there are two Waffle Houses. If you squint, you can see the other Waffle House sign across Skibo Road in Fayetteville on the far right (Google Street View)

Why is this the new North Carolina National Anthem. Followup: Why is it a banger?

With all love to Petey Pablo, this song absolutely slaps:

Reader Lesa Kestanas brought this to my attention after The Mountain Goats flagged it on their Twitter feed by saying: “This song has absolutely zero reason to go this hard. This may be my new NC anthem. All gas, no brakes.” One note: Maybe don’t play this one for your kids?

Silky Jones and Dumptrukk appear to be from Charlotte, and they should definitely hit me up, because I have questions. Where was this shot? Is this Bojangles sponsored content? How do you all feel about the new AI drive thru?

This is the second musical mystery that I’ve forgotten to follow up on. The first: Who created this Wrightsville Beach-specific jam, and how did they get it on to radio stations in Wilmington a few years ago?

The ACC After Dark

I know the ACC is a California conference now, but it’s spiritually a Greensboro-based organization that annoys Jim Boeheim, so I have some jurisdiction here. Hence: Hayes Permar tagged this post for me:

Look ACC, what you do in the privacy of your own stadium is your business. Who am I to judge.

Yes, that’s a real coin. And yes, it appears to be upside down.

No, I don’t know who designed it or, more importantly, who signed off on it. It appears to have been around since at least 2005, according to this dude’s Flickr post.

That’s a butt (Photo by Alan Hoyle via Flickr).

It does seem that there’s an updated version that appears to be cheaper-looking. Still, I didn’t inquire about this particular coin, and that’s on me. I’ll tag in ESPN’s Ryan McGee, whose father was a long-time referee, for any football-related coin lore. Maybe Occam’s razor holds true here: Sometimes, the ACC is butt.

Drink Scotch Whiskey All Night Long, and Die Behind The Wheel on Steely Dan Drive

Rikki don’t lose that house number:

Reader Peter Smith wanted to know how Waynesville, North Carolina ended up with a street named “Steely Dan Drive.” I also would like to know! It seems to be a very short street that’s home to a pair of double-wides. None of them have 19 in their address. Hey! Nobody named Peg seems to live there. I haven’t looked into this, so apparently I’m not a major dude. I could go on here, but I’ll just say that my pretzel logic cannot explain this one and I apologize if this entry feels like the royal scam.

Related: The mystery of North Carolina’s Yoda and Darth Maul drives was solved. The subdivision developer was a Star Wars fan, obviously.

What does AI think Asheville looks like?

Look, it’s easy to make jokes about the things that AI hallucinates from a prompt like, say, “A picture of a large bear holding balloons in Asheville.” So … that’s what we’re going to do.

Asheville? (Photo via Henry Gargan/Bluesky)

Asheville has the largest inventory of Art Deco buildings outside of Miami. Many are unique. City Hall. The Jackson Building. The Grove Park Inn. The Biltmore. The Grove Arcade. I could go on, but part of what makes Asheville Asheville is its architecture.

And yet, it would appear that AI vomited out downtown Greensboro?

South Elm Street in downtown Greensboro via Google Street View. The big Jefferson Standard Building it poking up in the distance.

I’m not knocking the Asheville Area Chamber, nor the actual human responsible for this sign. There’s been far too much going on post-Helene to sweat details like this (although, you know, I don’t think it’s too hard to find an artist in that town). The mystery here is what led AI to create an entire image of Asheville using non-Asheville buildings. We’ll never know? Artificial intelligence continues to creep into our lives, and at every turn, AI keeps responding to our prompts thusly:

My Albemarle don’t want none unless you got puns, hon

Here’s an email I got:

Growing up in Albemarle in the 70s and 80s, I was shocked to hear from a friend recently that an X-rated theater operated there during that time. And he said it was a drive-in too!!

Given Stanly County's long-time conservative lean, this was very surprising -- and I won't believe it's true until you find out for me. Make sure to set your browser to private/incognito for this investigation!

I looked, and my initial search turned up nothing. But just before hit send on this newsletter, I gave it one more try, and discovered that yes, the Albemarle Drive-In showed adult films from the mid-1960s until it closed in 1982. So, um, mystery solved! Here are some of its offerings on a weekend in 1973:

“Sleazy Rider,” get it? Although, you have to admire the simplicity and straightforwardness of pornography that’s entitled “Pornography.” This title walked so “Scary Movie” could run.

How much did Nido Qubein pay the Costco Guys to come to High Point?

Do you know who A.J. and Big Justice are? No? Then I think your life is going to turn out just fine. Just know that High Point University had these two come to town and make several videos on campus.

highpointu

A post shared by @highpointu

Guess they couldn’t afford to bring The Rizzler.

The Mystery of the Cheese Dog

Last year, reader Steph K. left this comment:

i don't know if this is Alamance County thing or not, but do you also get irrationally angry at CHEESE dogs?!

not hot dogs with cheese on them. a hot dog bun with a strip of cheese IN IT and nothing else except mustard or toppings.

There are some weird regional food things out there, including the Altoona Pizza and the Youngstown Cookie Table. In North Carolina, I’ve heard of stuff like livermush, sonker, and the pimento cheese burger, but never the cheese dog. So back in March, I met up with The Food Section’s Hanna Raskin and we decided to try this Alamance County delicacy.

A cheese dog at Zack’s in Burlington.

They sell the cheese dogs at Zack’s Hotdogs in downtown Burlington. Hanna used this experience to take a deep dive into what happens when a beloved and legendary food joint gets new owners. Me? I just wanted to know what a cheese dog tasted like, and who might have come up with the idea.

First up, the cheese dog was fine. Just fine. Not great! Not bad! It was, in the parlance of Stringer Bell from “The Wire,” a 40-degree day. The cheese itself was kind of cold. But the chili and toppings were good. I also had a conventional chili dog, and I liked that better. As for the origin story, I don’t know it. Who knows if, like, the restaurant ran out of hot dogs one day, subbed in cheese instead, and accidentally created a hit? Also, it’s not a Zack’s exclusive. Hanna sent a picture of the menu at Sharkey’s down the street, and you can get a “block cheese dog” for $1.89. I wanted to take a deeper dive here, but I just have a bunch of a data and no good analysis. Sorry!

Either way, it’s a decent quirk of Burlington’s local cuisine, and it’s worth ordering just for the experience. Trust me, you’ll enjoy it more than the thing that Chicago is best known for: Malört.

The Most Important Tar Heel Football Mystery of the Year

No, not the Why-Is-Bill-Belichick-Here thing. This thing:

The 1895 University of North Carolina football team.

Reader Christopher Corcoran wanted to know why the dude in the front row is wearing a backwards NC on his shirt. I don’t know! I looked around, but considering that this is from 1895, there’s is literally nobody alive who remembers this.

I do know that the UNC football team went 7-1-1 that year, and the guy who’s wearing the weird logo is Joel Whitaker, who accidentally threw the first forward pass in football history in October of that year. During a game against Georgia, Whittaker was punting, and an in effort to avoid the rush, tossed the ball forward to a teammate who ran 70 yards for a touchdown. Some people in the stands thought it was an accident since it looked like the ball was knocked out of Whittaker’s hands. It was also illegal under the rules at the time, but the referee didn’t see the pass, so the touchdown stood. Guess you can’t throw a red challenge flag to see a replay if all of the film is in black and white and takes hours to develop.

But! Legendary coach John Heisman was in the crowd that day. He saw the pass, thought it looked cool, and lobbied to make it legal, which didn’t happen until 1906.

Whitaker himself went on to be a prominent ophthalmologist in Indianapolis, where he died in 1947 at age 70. His obituary didn’t mention his time on the UNC football team.

As for the backwards logo? Maybe his descendents know. It’s a longshot, but I’m trying to check with them. Think Alexander Julian should re-create the shirt and make Bill Belichick wear it over his argyle hoodie? Check with him.

The biggest mystery of all

From spookyclt on Bluesky:

Did you find where the Meck Dec is?

No.

See you all next year. Thank you for your support of the Rabbit Hole.