Look, I know English sort of sucks. There are all sorts of exceptions to rules! Silent letters! Strange word construction! And yet, in my entire life, I have never heard anyone pronounce “Raleigh” this way:

The clip above comes from the Nightcap podcast featuring former NFL stars Shannon Sharpe and Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson. Basically, both of them go on YouTube after a slate of NFL games are over and livestream their thoughts about what happened. Are they focused? Not at all! The whole thing runs about 2 ½ hours. But the relevant part, which comes after Ochocinco insists that he’s rooting for the Panthers in the playoffs and has been to Charlotte, only lasts 25 seconds:

So. A few things. One: Ochocinco grew up in Miami, which butts up against a suburb called Hialeah, which is pronounced “hai-uh-LEE-uh.” But while it is possible that you, a random American, have not heard someone utter “Hialeah,” it is much less possible that you have never heard someone say “Raleigh,” which is the capital of a major American state (SPOILER: This one).

Two: This started as an attempt by Ochocinco to build up his North Carolina cred. Sharpe accuses him of never having been to Charlotte even though, as a member of the Cincinnati Bengals, Ochcinco played against the Panthers in Charlotte twice, in 2002 and again in 2010 (where, if you must know, he had 10 catches for 148 yards against Carolina). Ochocinco also claims he dated a woman in Charlotte back in 2003 (Fact check: ?!?!), and that he’s been to Charlotte Motor Speedway, which is technically in Concord (Close enough). He’s also branched out to other parts of North Carolina. In 2022, Ochocinco went to North Carolina A&T to watch his daughter compete at the AAU Junior Olympic Games and left a $1,000 tip at his favorite restaurant in Greensboro (it’s Stephanie's Restaurant off of Randleman Road). He’s visited to the Raleigh area several times, including WakeMed Soccer Park in Cary back in 2024. He even went as far as to talk to the Raleigh-Durham airport’s Twitter account:

Of course, any chance that Ochocinco could have been considered a true North Carolina-knower (ala Stephen A. Smith) are now gone. He’s tweeting through it, mentioning that there are a lot of great cigar bars in Raleigh. But still, this poor man is being clowned statewide, because if there’s one thing that sets off local folks, it’s a national show or personality getting something wrong about the place where they live.

So! Because this is the internet, let’s play a game. I’ve set up a special Rabbit Hole voicemail line: (980) 477-5465. Before Monday, January 12, call up that number, leave me a message, and tell me about a time when you heard someone mess up a North Carolina pronunciation. Here are your categories:

I strictly follow the ”Whose Line Is It Anyway?” scoring system here. Extra points for the more obvious butchering (I award Ochocinco 75,000 points for “Ra-LEE-uh”), or the more obscure pronunciation. For example:

The winner will get a sticker. Yes, I still have to send them out.

My requirements: Please don’t throw anyone other than a celebrity or public figure under the bus by outing them by name (You don’t have to leave your name if you don’t want to, but I’d like to know where you’re calling from). Keep it civil (lol, I know this is the internet, please behave). And don’t just conjure up someone out of thin air! You’re not AI! There’s no need to hallucinate here! Go hallucinate somewhere else!

The plan is to take all of your calls and info and create an follow-up story and/or podcast episode about it, so please, only tell me what you’re comfortable with other people hearing. Or not! Maybe this won’t work. Either way, have fun. And if you have a Rabbit Hole-esque type story that you’d like me to follow up on, please feel free to shoot me a line as well. Or you can just drop me a comment or reply to this email. Whatever works.

For now, please enjoy my only contribution to this discourse: Ochocinco saying Ra-leah synced up to Donnie Iris’s “Ah! Leah!”