How to be incredibly familiar with North Carolina, just like Stephen A. Smith
Here's a simple worksheet so you too can prove that you're not just familiar with this state, but familiar with ALL of this state.
Perhaps you do not watch First Take on ESPN. That’s okay. Your life is probably less tense and more productive because of it. But if you do, you may have already seen what happened toward the end of a long rant about Carolina Panthers quarterback Baker Mayfield. As he was winding up to a big finish, Stephen A. Smith took a moment to say that it wasn’t HE who was offended by Mayfield’s play on the field and his words off of it. No. It was the people of North Carolina who were offended.
How would he know such a thing? Because he’s familiar with North Carolina. INCREDIBLY familiar.
Kernersville! Salisbury! Burlington! It’s amazing that, when choosing to explain just how familar he is with our fine state, those were the first three cities that floated into his brain.
He went on to list the bigger cities… as well as Archdale (you can watch the entire segment here). Still though, I can’t think of a better way to prove your street cred in this state than to say that you know Kernersville, the home of a weird house, a lovely botanical garden, and a convicted January 6th rioter.
This take, that Stephen A. Smith knows North Carolina, generated even more takes. Friends of the Rabbit Hole Joe Ovies and Joe Giglio openly wondered whether Smith said “Raleigh, Durham” or “Raleigh-Durham.” (If you don’t know why the latter is bad, ask someone from that area if they like being lumped in with the airport.) And the fine folks at SportsChannel 8 did nature’s bidding and remixed the clip above into Petey Pablo’s “Raise Up.”
By the way, all of the cities that Smith listed are in the central portion of the state, which makes sense. Smith graduated from Winston-Salem State in 1991 and has given back to the university since then.
But! Perhaps you are feeling like you can’t properly convey an opinion about the people of North Carolina without telling people that you KNOW North Carolina! That’s why we here at the Rabbit Hole have done you a favor and created a worksheet that you can use to let people know that you have Tar Heel gravitas. It’s called the “Stephen A. Smith ‘I’m incredibly familar with North Carolina, ALL of North Carolina’ Street Cred Generator.” Simply say Smith’s quotation above, then rattle off the three places below that correspond with your initials. Bam! You now have all of the cred you need to spout off an unhinged take about this great state.
(I realize that the picture above is not accessible for all, so here’s the spreadsheet version if you need it. Also, I could only find 25 boros, so I included both the old and new spellings of Hillsborough.)
Once you’ve completed the worksheet, please tell us about how familar you are with North Carolina and leave your hot take in the comments below.