Let's pretend that Disney World would actually move here, even though it won't.
www.ncrabbithole.com
Let’s get this out of the way first: Disney World is not picking up and moving here, even though it’s locked in a dumb feud with Florida’s governor. That said, politicians know an opportunity when they see one. Hence, “Mickey’s Freedom Restoration Act” now exists in North Carolina, thanks to a bunch of Democratic (?!) senators, including Michael Garrett of Greensboro. If it passes (it won’t, it’s already been referred to the rules committee, which is like death row for hopeless bills), it would create a committee to explore ways to bring family amusement parks to economically distressed counties in North Carolina (you can find a list of those “Tier 1” counties here). Hence I, also an opportunist, would like to take this moment to ask you: What would a North Carolina Disney World look like? Where would it go? What would the rides be like? Things got started here on Twitter, but leave a comment below. Keep things as civil and as stupid as you can. Best reply gets a North Carolina Rabbit Hole Fast Pass (i.e. a paid subscription for a month!).
With the recent opening of a Target, a remodeled Walmart, and a future site of a WaWa, Dare County is ready for Walt Disney’s Water World. To sweeten the deal, the county even includes a town named after Donald Duck.
in the remote possibility that Disney would uproot 50+ years of infrastructure a few things would be needed:
a) close proximity to a major airport that could handle the annual tourism. MCO is huge... and Disneyland is serviced by 3 major airports within an hour of the resort.
b) enough land to secure the "Disney bubble" immersion that Disney wanted back in the 60's after seeing the cluster that occurred in Anaheim after Disneyland opened (and is still a cluster).
c) an employee pool that fits within the Disney standard (though that has been relaxed considerably since 2020) that resides close enough but also cheap enough to make it worthwhile.
Pick an hour from Charlotte or RDU in any direction that has about 30k acres of untouched land. Not sure where that would even be. But when all is said and done, it won't ever happen. Disney is in the middle of a giant layoff from various divisions. Financially they're trying to recoup losses from the past few years. Moving isn't in their cards... and even if it were, the property they own in FL would plummet in the mass selloff and surrounding area would crumble as well. Orlando may also have Universal and SeaWorld, but Disney formed Orlando the tourist destination it is today.
The "Hog Farm" Rollercoaster: Experience the thrill of being a piglet being chased by a farmer! This coaster takes you on a wild ride through the farm, dodging chickens, cows, and manure piles.
The "Contentnea Creek Adventure": Float down the Contentnea in a tube while dodging fishing hooks, and beer cans. Bonus points if you spot a gator!
The "Kudzu Kingdom": Explore a magical land where kudzu vines grow as high as skyscrapers and take over everything in sight. Don't get lost in the vines!
The "Greene County Drag Race": Hop in a souped-up car and race down the streets of Snow Hill. Watch out for speed traps and moonshiners!
The "Barbecue Bonanza": Sample all the best barbecue from around the state, including Lexington, Eastern, and Western styles. Don't forget to try the Cheerwine slushies!
The "Greene County Swamp Safari": Take a boat tour through the swamp and see all kinds of critters, from alligators to mosquitoes the size of your fist.
The "Hometown Heroes Hall of Fame": Learn about all the famous people from North Carolina - like Jeremy Markovich.
The "Rabbit Hole Ride": Take a trip down the rabbit hole and see where it leads! Hint: it's probably to a nearby tobacco field.
It would look a lot like Carowinds, and probably have to straddle the state line so as to be able to call it "Disney World of the Carolinas." Stick it on the little kink in the state line southeast of Hamlet and due north of Bennettsville, SC...talk about depressed counties! There'd have to be some kind of poultry -themed area of the park.
Rockingham could open their own NASCAR-themed park kinda like Universal and Sea World did in Orlando. Mmmm, smell that burnin' rubber!
Research back a good number of years, about a proposed park in the northern Virginia area south of DC that was to be themed as a historical sort of patriotic themed colonial days, etc. For a number of reasons such as traffic revolt by the rural folks in the area, gets too cold for a year round water park to stay open, lobby efforts by theme parks around DC that were of course threatened by the big corporate funds. Unwillingness for local officials to relinquish power to a somewhat unknown outcome. After lots of PR it just faded away even though land rights were secured if approved. Surprise to many urban folks that some rural areas like being dark enough at night to see the stars and smell the air after a nice summer shower. If they build in NC I’m sure I will treat my great grands for a memory visit as often as we can. We have a time share in Orlando that the kids and grandkids have used…lol only used it once ourselves and the traffic was a crawl.
I lived in Orlando for a couple of years in the mid-90's. Everybody there hated Disney.
As far as bringing a park here for "reasons", I'd put it in the Piedmont Triad. Right where the exit sign says "Climax" and "High Point". You know it. Regionally important airport (GSO) relatively nearby. Obviously we have tax breaks for massive corporations, so why wouldn't we invite Disney?
Amazon and Alphabet love us.
RDU might be a better choice. Same kind of airport, plus trains! Capitol City. LGBTQ+ allies, and major colleges (employee pool {at least for scholarship kids}).
Sen. Garrett was politically smart to say we should lure Mickey and crew to someplace that needs the cash. But his hometown of Greensboro is clearly North Carolina's version of Orlando. Not the biggest city or the capitol, but big enough and with plenty of developable land. Easy to drive to from all points, decent but not great airport. Landlocked, but driveable to beach and nature. And...mediocre restaurants that won't draw people off Disney premises for dinner (Sorry, Sen. Garrett, but I do like your bill!).
I think around Asheville, we’re already an amusement park for the beer drinkers, hippies, mountain artists and all the rest A couple of the big breweries around Asheville - Sierra Nevada in particular - has long been dubbed “Malt Disney World” for grown up beer lovers. We’ve got rides - zip lines and pub cycles. We’re halfway there...
With the recent opening of a Target, a remodeled Walmart, and a future site of a WaWa, Dare County is ready for Walt Disney’s Water World. To sweeten the deal, the county even includes a town named after Donald Duck.
Gaston County will fight anybody over the rights to Disney World. Please refer to: An atlas of North Carolina's best places for an ass-whuppin' - https://www.ncrabbithole.com/p/an-atlas-of-north-carolinas-best
in the remote possibility that Disney would uproot 50+ years of infrastructure a few things would be needed:
a) close proximity to a major airport that could handle the annual tourism. MCO is huge... and Disneyland is serviced by 3 major airports within an hour of the resort.
b) enough land to secure the "Disney bubble" immersion that Disney wanted back in the 60's after seeing the cluster that occurred in Anaheim after Disneyland opened (and is still a cluster).
c) an employee pool that fits within the Disney standard (though that has been relaxed considerably since 2020) that resides close enough but also cheap enough to make it worthwhile.
Pick an hour from Charlotte or RDU in any direction that has about 30k acres of untouched land. Not sure where that would even be. But when all is said and done, it won't ever happen. Disney is in the middle of a giant layoff from various divisions. Financially they're trying to recoup losses from the past few years. Moving isn't in their cards... and even if it were, the property they own in FL would plummet in the mass selloff and surrounding area would crumble as well. Orlando may also have Universal and SeaWorld, but Disney formed Orlando the tourist destination it is today.
The "Hog Farm" Rollercoaster: Experience the thrill of being a piglet being chased by a farmer! This coaster takes you on a wild ride through the farm, dodging chickens, cows, and manure piles.
The "Contentnea Creek Adventure": Float down the Contentnea in a tube while dodging fishing hooks, and beer cans. Bonus points if you spot a gator!
The "Kudzu Kingdom": Explore a magical land where kudzu vines grow as high as skyscrapers and take over everything in sight. Don't get lost in the vines!
The "Greene County Drag Race": Hop in a souped-up car and race down the streets of Snow Hill. Watch out for speed traps and moonshiners!
The "Barbecue Bonanza": Sample all the best barbecue from around the state, including Lexington, Eastern, and Western styles. Don't forget to try the Cheerwine slushies!
The "Greene County Swamp Safari": Take a boat tour through the swamp and see all kinds of critters, from alligators to mosquitoes the size of your fist.
The "Hometown Heroes Hall of Fame": Learn about all the famous people from North Carolina - like Jeremy Markovich.
The "Rabbit Hole Ride": Take a trip down the rabbit hole and see where it leads! Hint: it's probably to a nearby tobacco field.
It would look a lot like Carowinds, and probably have to straddle the state line so as to be able to call it "Disney World of the Carolinas." Stick it on the little kink in the state line southeast of Hamlet and due north of Bennettsville, SC...talk about depressed counties! There'd have to be some kind of poultry -themed area of the park.
Rockingham could open their own NASCAR-themed park kinda like Universal and Sea World did in Orlando. Mmmm, smell that burnin' rubber!
Research back a good number of years, about a proposed park in the northern Virginia area south of DC that was to be themed as a historical sort of patriotic themed colonial days, etc. For a number of reasons such as traffic revolt by the rural folks in the area, gets too cold for a year round water park to stay open, lobby efforts by theme parks around DC that were of course threatened by the big corporate funds. Unwillingness for local officials to relinquish power to a somewhat unknown outcome. After lots of PR it just faded away even though land rights were secured if approved. Surprise to many urban folks that some rural areas like being dark enough at night to see the stars and smell the air after a nice summer shower. If they build in NC I’m sure I will treat my great grands for a memory visit as often as we can. We have a time share in Orlando that the kids and grandkids have used…lol only used it once ourselves and the traffic was a crawl.
Build Hall of Presidents in Pineville for James K Polk (claim Andrew Jackson and put him in there too)
First off, too funny, buddy
I lived in Orlando for a couple of years in the mid-90's. Everybody there hated Disney.
As far as bringing a park here for "reasons", I'd put it in the Piedmont Triad. Right where the exit sign says "Climax" and "High Point". You know it. Regionally important airport (GSO) relatively nearby. Obviously we have tax breaks for massive corporations, so why wouldn't we invite Disney?
Amazon and Alphabet love us.
RDU might be a better choice. Same kind of airport, plus trains! Capitol City. LGBTQ+ allies, and major colleges (employee pool {at least for scholarship kids}).
Being middle-aged is weird.
Probably could just dust off these old plans. Should work, right?
https://www.sog.unc.edu/resource-series/roanoke-rapids-tif-documents-concerning-district-whole
https://www.carolinajournal.com/public-funds-key-private-projects/
Sen. Garrett was politically smart to say we should lure Mickey and crew to someplace that needs the cash. But his hometown of Greensboro is clearly North Carolina's version of Orlando. Not the biggest city or the capitol, but big enough and with plenty of developable land. Easy to drive to from all points, decent but not great airport. Landlocked, but driveable to beach and nature. And...mediocre restaurants that won't draw people off Disney premises for dinner (Sorry, Sen. Garrett, but I do like your bill!).
I think around Asheville, we’re already an amusement park for the beer drinkers, hippies, mountain artists and all the rest A couple of the big breweries around Asheville - Sierra Nevada in particular - has long been dubbed “Malt Disney World” for grown up beer lovers. We’ve got rides - zip lines and pub cycles. We’re halfway there...
*Looks at the tier 1 counties list* Guess I’m booking a trip to Orlando, if I ever want to visit Disney World.
Again. You are right. NC is about to elect Robinson as Governor and he will not put up with the Disney Woke Stuff