It’s Memorial Day! Unfurl North Carolina’s official state beach flower: The Shibumi Shade.

I’ll have a regular edition of the Rabbit Hole later in the week. But for now, here’s some stuff that you may have missed:

Dave Doeren has been the football coach at NC State for 14 years. What does that have to do with the Carolina Hurricanes playoff run? Nothing! Except! Last year, when the Canes came up frustratingly short of the Stanley Cup Final (again), people called into the Ovies & Giglio Podcast to complain and, often, invoked the name of Dave Doeren (who, by the way, is one of the blessed few who must always be referred to by his first and last name). Why? If you are not plugged into the Triangle sports scene, just know that NC State has, over the last few decades, also come up frustratingly short in basketball and especially in football. This is, lovingly, referred to as “NC State Shit.” It may or may not have died after the Wolfpack men’s basketball team inexplicably made it to the Final Four two years ago, but combine years of frustration with a very animated fanbase, and they start seeing “NC State Shit” everywhere. That includes Canes playoff games. Hence, people called in to invoke Dave Doeren’s name in 2025 after the Canes lost to Florida in the Eastern Conference Finals. Joe Ovies and Joe Giglio referred to this as “Dave Doeren catching strays.”

On Thursday night, guess who was the official siren sounder for Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Final against Montreal? That’s right. Dave Doeren. He got a lot of cheers in the arena, but outside, it filled certain fans with a sense of dread:

The Canes lost 6-2. Afterward, so many people called Ovies and Giglio to complain not about the Canes—but about Dave Doeren—that Joe and Joe literally ran ten straight minutes of Dave Doeren catching strays. I’ve cued up the YouTube video to the relevant portion here. “The Triangle is wired differently,” Joe Ovies said afterward, trying to explain what just happened to the normals out there.

This is, if nothing else, incredible radio (I know, I know, the Joes are now doing a podcast, but roll with it), and it became enough of A Thing that the NHL on TNT pre-game show referenced the anger toward Dave Doeren on the pregame show. Just for reference, someone else sounded the siren for Game 2. The Canes won 3-2 in overtime.

I know I know, this isn’t in North Carolina geographically, but it’s very much a spiritual part of our state:

Spoiler alert: I bought an electric vehicle last month and, as anyone who’s had a conversation with me since then can attest, that’s all I can talk about. Maybe I’ll write about it soon! For now, though: Yes, you can get Bojangles-branded charging for your car if you stop for some dirty rice and pintos in Savannah. I will note: While the pricing seems reasonable, there are plenty of fast chargers closer to the highway, especially next to the Tanger Outlets just of I-95. Do you want Bojangles badly enough to drive about seven miles out of the way to get electrons with your Botato Rounds?

Cheerwine? Zut alors!

The folks at Carolina Forward pointed out something interesting earlier this month: You know what town, city, or county spent the most on lobbying in 2024? Could you guess? I mean, I suppose I spoiled it with the headline here, but yep, it was Franklin County, which sits just northeast of Raleigh. The local government spent $212,515 on lobbying in 2024. That’s more than the city of Charlotte and Mecklenburg County spent combined.

Lobbying is something you do when you want something, but the folks who are normally tasked with getting you that something—your representatives in the legislature—aren’t delivering for you. So what did Franklin County want? Water! And this wasn’t just a 2024 thing. In 2022, according to The Franklin Times, the county also spent more on lobbyists than any other county in the state:

Did it work? Kinda? Last month, Republican lawmakers introduced a provision in a bill that would have allowed Franklin County to buy or condemn property in Vance, Halifax and Warren Counties, all of which sit right next door. Were those counties cool with that. NOT AT ALL. The bill set off protests that caused the normally shame-proof GOP to reverse course.

The bill itself didn’t mention water, but Franklin County hasn’t been shy about noting that it needs more water to keep up with massive growth. According to WRAL, Franklin County gets most of its water from the City of Henderson, and it thinks it’s paying too much, and would rather build its own water plant on, say Kerr Lake, which happens to sit in Vance and Warren Counties. For what it’s worth, Halifax County is home to part of Lake Gaston, another big lake into which Franklin County could dip a very big straw.

Is the bill dead? Kinda? House speaker Destin Hall has threatened to bring it back if everyone can’t figure out a way to get along. It’s worth noting that in 2024, Vance, Halifax, and Warren Counties spent a combined $0 on lobbying. They might start spending now! All of this is a helpful reminder that no matter what happens, billable hours remain undefeated.

Long ago, I worked as a raft guide at the U.S. National Whitewater Center, and occasionally I would make a mistake. Would I admit it! No! I would bump sideways into a rock. Then half of my paddlers would disappear into the water. Then they’d float helplessly downstream. The rest of us would watch from an eddy, swirling in place while my guests were pulled into other guides’ rafts. Here is what I would say to the people left in my boat: “Yay rafting!” Every time. It worked. I got tips and everything.

I have also fallen out of my own boat. So what did I do? I climbed out of the water, ran down the side of the channel, and then jumped back into my raft, flying squirrel-style. Again, my guests would not see this as a skill issue on my part. They would find me at the bar and buy me all of the beer I could drink.

I say all that to say this: The internet is enamored with what this dude did at the Whitewater Center last week:

Buddy, that’s pretty great. Alfonzo’s guests will speak about this for a long time, while his fellow guides will never let him live it down.

Thank you to everyone who sent me this story from the Charlotte Observer:

To answer your inevitable question: No, this is not the Kinston Little Caesar’s thing. This is a different thing.

I’m pretty sure this story, the Popeyes one, came from this Twitter post from the Greensboro Police:

Before you chuckle, just know that while the Greensboro Police Department is getting a lot of mileage out of its snarky observations, your mileage may vary if you decide to make a snarky observation about the Greensboro Police Department.

Here’s a state supreme court justice trying to pull off a “How Do You Do, Fellow Kids?” in a legal argument:

A real Outer Banks knower would have referenced Biscuits ‘n’ Porn.

I did two podcasts last week. One’s about a dude from Cornelius who just pleaded guilty to a new type of federal crime:

The other’s about how two beloved biscuit chains have the same daddy:

You should subscribe to the North Carolina Rabbit Hole on YouTube! Or Apple Podcasts! Or Spotify! Let me know if you like this stuff. I’d like to do more of them, but my feeds have been mostly dormant for a while. Tell your friends! Tell the apps to start downloading episodes again! Every little bit helps.

And as always, holler at me if you have a story that I should be aware of. You can reply to this email, or drop me a voicemail at (980) 477-5465‬. If you’re looking for a prompt,

Have a great day everybody.