45 Comments
User's avatar
Jeremy Markovich's avatar

I'll start: Raleigh is the Panera Bread of cities. They have hazelnut coffee. Like Raleigh, it's exotic but not TOO exotic.

Expand full comment
todd lyden's avatar

It also feels corporate and trying to address many different palates

Expand full comment
Bridget's avatar

Asheville is the Mellow Mushroom of cities; generically unique as the franchise grinds the edges off.

Expand full comment
Jacob Presson's avatar

This is fantastically accurate

Expand full comment
Jeremy Markovich's avatar

One wrinkle: Reader Stephen Horn asked what NC city most resembles Cook Out and that's gonna occupy too much space in my brain for the rest of the day. Please help.

Expand full comment
Edison Carter's avatar

Was already thinking that. I’d go with Marion (or maybe Old Fort) — a little small, not much to look at, but the variety of outdoor activities is pretty staggering.

Expand full comment
Robert Wells's avatar

Not quite on point. this conjured a quote I always remember from the great columnist Jerry Bledsoe who, after spending a few years in Charlotte, penned words to the effect that, "People in Charlotte fancy themselves as Little Atlanta... but they're really just Big Spartanburg."

Expand full comment
Jeremy Markovich's avatar

Now I'm going to have "Big Spartanburg Energy" in my head for the rest of the day.

Expand full comment
Towner Blackstock's avatar

When did he write that? It fits my memory of Charlotte 20 or 30 years ago, but not recently.

Expand full comment
Edison Carter's avatar

Cary is the Sheetz of cities. Clean restrooms, good lighting, but bigger than it needs to be and ultimately, just a convenient stop.

Expand full comment
Overexpression's avatar

Hillsborough is the au bon pain of cities.

Expand full comment
Kelli Horne's avatar

Charlotte is the Chick-Fil-A of cities. Everybody complains about the traffic, but they want in and they want what we got -

Expand full comment
todd lyden's avatar

but charlotte isn't closed on sundays...

Expand full comment
Eric's avatar

Greensboro is the Biscuitville of cities, Actually pretty good, underrated, and only known to people in central NC. Plus super car dependant.

Expand full comment
Jean's avatar

Winston-Salem is the Little Richard's BBQ of NC cities. Do I even need to explain? So very satisfying with a legacy based on smoking.

Expand full comment
Eliza's avatar

Chapel Hill is Starbucks. Corporate and expensive, and they get new stuff all the time but it's never there for long.

Expand full comment
GMH's avatar

Gastonia is the truck stop with a Taco Bell of cities.

Expand full comment
Stuart W.'s avatar

No further explanation required. I live in Belmont, the Chik-Fil-A Off I-85 of cities.

Expand full comment
GMH's avatar

Too funny. I grew up in Belmont. I always poke fun at G-town and Gaston Co, but I also love it there.

Expand full comment
Adam Jarrell's avatar

Boone is the Whole Foods Cafe of cities... mostly wholesome but if you look close enough you can see the nose prints on the sneeze guard

Expand full comment
Edison Carter's avatar

Greensboro is the Golden Corral of cities. Friendly people, plenty of choice, but not very good for you and a bit unsatisfying.

Expand full comment
feritae's avatar

Morehead City is the Buc-ees of cities. Determined to bring in all the tourists to eat, drink, pump gas and buy trinkets. We leave you smiling until the credit card bill comes in.

Expand full comment
Matt Hill's avatar

Salisbury is the gas station McDonalds of cities. Quick stop right off the interstate, usually not the cleanest, but it gets the job done and you're back on the road in no time.

Expand full comment
Jake Patterson's avatar

Wilmington is the Olive Garden of cities. They play it up as more exotic and elegant than any other place but it’s really just the Italian version of Chili’s.

Expand full comment
Allison's avatar

New Bern is the Bonefish Grill of cities. Smaller, but pleasant and water-adjacent. Only Pepsi products allowed on the drink menu!

Expand full comment
Owen S. Good's avatar

Elkin, N.C. is The French Laundry of cities, by the way, the heart of Yadkin Valley Wine Country with a goddamn bus serving visitors to 25 wineries and vineyards, we don't care if you're from Ohio or Ontario. dubya-dubya-dubya dot explore elkin dot com this message presented by the Yadkin Valley Rotary Club

Expand full comment
Owen S. Good's avatar

Burlington is the Biscuitville of cities, and vice versa.

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Read's avatar

Owen, I believe our mutual friend Madison would have also agreed with you. We might bristle at the closed after 2pm comparison, but then quickly remind you that once a year there is Biscuitville *after dark* to provide some evening options.

Expand full comment
Owen S. Good's avatar

I don't know if this is on topic or not, but my father came home from a business trip around 1981 with an absolutely epic tale of the horrid meal he got at the Wadesboro Hardee's, to the point that, to this day, Wadesboro, Hardee's, and shitty food are top-of-mind recall when my brother and I shoot the bull.

Expand full comment
Leslie Lotina's avatar

If Chapel Hill is the Chipotle of cities, then Carrboro is Sweet Greens without an option for drive through

Expand full comment
Becca Eversole's avatar

Wilmington is the Red Lobster of cities. Lots of seafood available. Once in a while it's actually good. Usually overpriced.

And yes, part of the joke here is that Wilmington doesn't have a Red Lobster, much to the consternation of newcomers.

Expand full comment
Lee Harrison's avatar

Blowing Rock is the Kilwin's Ice Cream of cities. A higher-end sugary treat.

Expand full comment
Edison Carter's avatar

That should make Highlands the Serendipity of cities — even more expensive.

Expand full comment
Eliza's avatar

Durham and Asheville aren't traditional chains. They're beloved local restaurants that have opened up a few more locations and feel a little overextended now (see also Rise, Dame's)

Expand full comment
Edison Carter's avatar

High Point is the Waffle House of cities. The name tells you what it is. I haven’t worked the rest of this metaphor out, but it seems to fit.

Ocracoke is the Tupelo Honey (Asheville) of cities while Bald Head Island is the Tupelo Honey (Raleigh) of cities. They’re both good and quirky, but one was there first.

Fayetteville is the Arby’s of cities. It’s fine, but 30 minutes later you wonder why you stopped.

Nags Head is the Chuck E Cheese of cities.

Expand full comment
Dave's avatar

Fuquay-Varina is the Ruth's Chris Steak House of cities in that the name is too complicated for anyone to say it correctly on their first try.

Expand full comment
Elijah Mears's avatar

Hot take: my hometown of Cary is the Starbuck's of cities—maybe once, decades ago, it was genuinely a small, local coffee shop, but now it's this sprawling nightmare that's far outgrown its roots and is more about the aesthetic of quality and luxury than actually achieving it.

Expand full comment
Stuart W.'s avatar

Belmont, the "Chik-Fil-A Off I-85" of cities.

Expand full comment
Towner Blackstock's avatar

I’m surprised no one has labeled anywhere as Hooters. (I dare not do so.)

Expand full comment
GMH's avatar

West Gastonia

Expand full comment
todd lyden's avatar

fayetteville

Expand full comment
OilDerrick's avatar

Goldsboro is the Five Guys of cities, an inappropriate destination if you have even the slightest of peanut allergies

Expand full comment
Edison Carter's avatar

I see Jacksonville as the Five Guys of cities — they do one thing really, really well but if you’re not there for a burger, they’ve got nothing for you.

Expand full comment
J Isenhower's avatar

Raleigh is the Hardees of towns.

Expand full comment
Christopher Corcoran's avatar

Greenville is the Subway of cities.

Expand full comment