Hello, good citizen! If you’re getting this, it’s because you are a paying subscriber to this newsletter. Often, on Mondays, I send out something to all subscribers, but the folks who get the Rabbit Hole for free get a few paragraphs before an annoying box pops up saying that the rest of the newsletter is for paid supporters only. You may have never known about this because you, my friends, are living a life of luxury.

Anyhow, since you’re paying me, I might as well give you an update on… things. Which, you know, things are good! First of all, I cannot thank you enough. I’m not an outwardly emotional person, but on the day when I asked for your support, many of you gave it. I sat on my couch, telling my wife what was happening with the world’s biggest frog in my throat. Every time I drop in here to write, or to reply, or to check in on things, I am thankful for what you’ve made possible.

This newsletter has helped, in a clarifying way, to put a value on what I write. If you’re wondering: A viral piece certainly helps: After the Mick Jagger story, I got 200-some free subscribers, and the stories that do really well tend to bring in a few dozen new folks at a time. But, mostly, the growth here has been steady and organic. Each story brings a few new subscribers, and a few others decide that this newsletter isn’t for them. I have no marketing budget. I don’t really think too much about my growth strategy because, well, I don’t have the time (more on this in a bit!). I am trying to, you know, be a grown up and have a little more business sense. But I also know that I really do care about this ridiculous thing in a way that’s different than journalism jobs I’ve had in the past. That’s partially because I’ve never had this much equity in my writing, and partially because, again, you’ve shown your faith in me.

Now, before I get too serious, let me just remind you that this newsletter’s biggest hit so far this year was about a license plate that said “FART” on it.

Speaking of that! A lot of folks have asked me recently how I do what I do. The FART story is a pretty good example. More and more, you and other folks are tipping me off to the weird shit that they see. Last month, someone sent me a tweet about a woman who was trying to save her license plate. I jumped into her replies on Twitter and asked her to DM me (Jason Sandford at Ashevegas very kindly vouched for me). She did. That was a Thursday. The next day, I called her on the phone as I walked between meetings, stopping occasionally to sit on a bench and scribble when she said something particularly profound. She was such a great interview that I asked her if she’d do it again on Sunday, when I had a little more time.

I wrote the story fairly quickly on Saturday, Zoomed with Karly on Sunday, did some finishing edits and revisions, and put it in the hopper to go out first thing Monday morning. I wasn’t the first person to report on this (the News & Observer beat me to it. This time, anyway). But I felt like it was a story that definitely fit the M.O. of what I’m trying to do here, whatever that is.

So, that’s what happened. Here’s what didn’t happen.

I had fully intended to do something more with Karly’s story. A podcast, even! That’s why we’d Zoomed on Sunday; I wanted to record it to make something else. But, quite simply, I ran out of time. We talked at 3. I knew I couldn’t start editing the audio until after 8, when my kids were asleep. I started to cut and mix and try to find the right bit of music (or, more likely, to drum up something quickly on Garage Band). But it became very clear after two hours that I wasn’t going to be able to do it. I’d already pledged to make this my Monday morning newsletter, and so I took a short clip of our conversation and made it into an Instagram Reel instead.

That little moment helped clarify my limitations a little. I’ve talked a lot recently—both with my buds at The Charlotte Podcast and also with Eric Frederick at NC Local—about how to keep this going. Right now, the recipe involves compulsion and compartmentalization. I feel like I have to get this stuff out of my brain, but I also have to keep it from taking over my life. I’m always blessed when I find some lightning in the bottle (or, more accurately, a FART on Twitter). But there’s a constant internal struggle with making something that I’m happy with and balancing that with my family and my full-time job. My wife and kids and parents and in-laws and brother and nieces and nephews are all people that I want to be present for as much as possible. And my full-time job (my first one outside of commercial media) has been extremely satisfying in ways I couldn’t have perceived when I took it. There’s a sort of guilt that sets in whenever a Rabbit Hole takes a little too long to come together. But I also know that if I didn’t write it, I’d be thinking about it, maybe too much. Which is saying something, because it’s quite possible that I’m giving too much thought to some of this stuff as it is!

Anyhow, this has occupied a very satisfying niche in my life. It’s not big enough to become a full-time thing, but it’s been significant enough to be therapeutic for my brain and also be a slightly viable business model, one that I’m currently thinking about how to tweak.

Back in November, I really thought hard about this. What, exactly, do you get if you pay, versus what you get for free? I thought, maybe, that I had to put out two newsletters a week, on consistent days even! One free. One paid. I thought about making it into a game, although it hasn’t been all that competitive, since Burnsville keeps winning. But, I thought hard about what I’m doing as a product that people would buy, which is funny, because I consider myself to be a very bad salesman.

But, now that I’ve been doing this for a while, I’m trying to think hard about what that product is. Maybe I don’t know my audience as well as I think I do. Or, maybe I’m doing something that you all don’t want or need. I know that it’s hard to think of this newsletter as essential in a way that a newspaper or a non-profit might be. Still, there have been things that I’ve wanted to get to, but haven’t been able to find the time for.

All of which is to say that I’m trying to think a little more about ways to make the Rabbit Hole better, but I’m also trying to be smarter about how to get there. Maybe you all really don’t want a Monday newsletter and once a week is enough (Unless there’s breaking FART news on a Friday). Maybe Tuesday is good for you. It might be better for me! Once again, I’m trying to weigh what’s best for the Rabbit Hole with what’s best for me, and to be mindful of the trust you’ve put in me.

My wife and I, for whatever reason, have been on a big kick lately to just readjust our lives more than we’ve done in the past. I don’t know why it’s happening now exactly, but we keep talking through and tweaking the processes that sort of govern how we live with two kids and two jobs. If something’s not working, we talk about how to change it and then try it. If that doesn’t work, we try something else. That process, of trying to get the best end result but not holding anything sacred in how we get there, has been enjoyable and has actually relieved some stress. I’d like to do the same here.

Basically, I’ve run into a few problems. The biggest one is time. I’m just one person, and it’s been a struggle sometimes to balance out the writing of these with the time that it takes to develop and think about stories. The other is the structure that I’ve laid out. As this newsletter has evolved, I’ve enjoyed focusing in on one story per post as opposed to round-ups of a couple of things. But I’d initially committed to doing those round-ups on Mondays. I’m not sure if that’s working. I’d also like to try and experiment with a few different formats (TikTok seems fun! Maybe!), or have a tiny bit of breathing room to try something different.

The one thing I could use from you is feedback. Again, you are the ones who are supporting me here, and as strange as it sounds, it would help if you can tell me why. Over the next little bit, I’m going to be trying a few new things out. You might like them! You might not! You may not really care! But in any event, it would help me immensely to have more data, and you’re not hurting my feelings by being vocal. You can reply to this or any other email with your thoughts.

That’s all! I do want to leave you with a short preview of a story I’ve got in the works, one that I’m hoping to have finished in the next few weeks. It’s about the very real (and maybe largely forgotten?) proposal to built a 17-mile-long bridge on the Outer Banks. It’s one of those things that I heard about while I was reporting on another story, and it’s been tickling my curiousity ever since. I’m working on it now, but I’m mindful that the whole reason I get to work on stuff like this is because of your support.

Sorry to get a little serious today. I’ll get back to the regularly-scheduled idiocy soon.

Thanks again for everything.

-Jeremy